It’s really no secret. The bulk of my writing tends to be borne from feelings of sadness, confusion, frustration, fear and even anger. Too often, I find myself unable to sleep with the insurmountable and unstoppable thoughts penetrating my brain—they come so fast and furiously that they interrupt one another and it’s hard to make sense of them all. I yearn for an ‘off’ button placed on my left temple that, when turned, will put my mind on mute. But, to date, my best recourse to the plaguing insomnia is just to give in. No matter the hour, I end up getting up, I open the laptop, and I start typing. But today? Today is a bit different. Today happens to be… my birthday. Weirdly, I kind of kept forgetting this day was approaching so quickly. Even this morning I had to be reminded when a certain someone barged into the bathroom during my morning duties to declare, “I can’t wait any more………………….HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!” This sort of forgetfulness is a truly strange phenomenon for someone like me. I’m rather organized, in case you didn’t know! I keep a daily planner and ‘to do’ list at arms length. I know where ever single thing is located in our apartment. Every thing—every tool, every gadget, every lock and key—has a home in this home. Related story: I just couldn’t help myself the other day when that same “certain someone” decided he was going to play a practical joke on me by (get THIS!) by hiding something in our apartment! Said “thing” was a dime-sized, purple pellet that he went out of his way to bring home and stash away for the opportunity to “toss” it into the tub the next time I decided to take a bath! Apparently, upon contact with the water, it would then magically change the color of the water in a flash of a second! Crazy! I had never heard of such a thing before. But I suppose if you have kids, you may be familiar with the bath-time trend? Anyway, so here’s the best part. My guy actually forgot where he hid the pellet! And instead, weeks later, I (like, ME!!) end up finding the gem……… while dusting the shelf!!! Ha! Nice try guy! You can’t hide things from me… not in this apartment! ;-)
Ok, so let’s get back on track. Now, normally, on my birthday, I kind of just wish I could crawl under a rock and hide—for the whole hooplah of the day. And then, I’d get to come out of the rock and suddenly it would be the next day! And the “pressure” of that silly “special” day would be over and everything would go back to normal! In fact, maybe the next day would be someone else’s birthday! I love other people’s birthdays! Those are great! But… what’s totally bizarre about today as opposed to normal years... is this year I didn’t feel any of that angst and dread I’m accustomed to on this annual mandatory celebration. None at all. Not even a bit! I guess, maybe, you could attribute this to the fact that I’ve been hugely overwhelmed with the job front the past month (good, bad and everything in between). Or it could also be that I’m just getting older, more mature. That last statement is, in fact, a fact. Despite the urge to tell everyone I’m 29, I am, in fact, yet another year older. But honestly, I don’t think it’s any of that. Warning: the next section might get a little cheesy… I really believe, instead, I’m just so dang content! On November 14, 2016, I married my best friend. That “certain someone”, who makes me feel as giddy as a schoolgirl, asked me to marry him! That special guy, who makes me feel gorgeous when I first wake up—without a stitch of makeup and an untamed mass of hair—wants to make a LIFE with me. That mate—who fills my soul with tangible JOY—is my partner in crime for LIFE. And I just feel………… good! I feel… content. Sure, there’s going to be ups and downs; there’s going to be job insecurity, raises and promotions; there’s going to be new births and lives lost; there’s going to be hardships and good times. But all in all, there’s going to be my guy. My love. Our love. Period. Tonight, I need nothing. I have everything. Happy birthday to me! (No crying by the way, despite the title ;))
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AuthorVanessa Ann, a writer and environmentalist. She possesses a Master of Applied Science in Environmental Policy & Management from the University of Denver. Her writing, at times, can be... a little sarcastic with just a dash of snarky. Archives
June 2019
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Vanessa is also a long-time contributing author (and former President) for the Sustainability Alliance of the University of Denver. Check out her published newsletters here: Some Say the Debate is Over. Yet the Heat Won’t Seem to Go Away, November 2016 Corn. It’s In Everything & It’s No Bueno for the Environment, February 2016 The Pursuit of Sustainability, August 2015 |
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