Just last week, I was going to write about… well, frankly, it was going to be a whole lot of ‘Woe is me’ bullshit. [It’s my shit, by the way, so can call it whatever I want, including “bull”!] But seriously! I drafted a solid start to this blog! The intro went a bit like this: Why is that whenever I am just about to think or say the words, “Gee, it’s been a while. I think I’m due for some new inspiration to write”…. then BOOM! It hits me! There it comes; something exceptionally shitty comes right along in my life?”
So earlier this week, I was reeling from the aftermath of destroying my chances of having a second interview with a pretty cool organization. [I earned that second interview, by the way. I also, subsequently, lost it… just a few days before it was scheduled to happen.] As you can perhaps imagine, there were some accompanying emotions. That said, right about the moment I was ready to enter the sad, unproductive, black hole of, “This just isn’t right. This just isn’t FAIR!”… Boom! [Recognize the ‘boom’?] This lost opportunity left a very ugly-icky-dark feeling with me. It was a bad place. And, trust me, there were a lot of thoughts that were geared-up and ready to be channeled into some high-powered, amped-up inspiration for me to write! Alas, I did not complete the ‘Boom/Woe-Is-Me’ (with a dash of fire and gusto) blog. Why? Well, because Life got in the way. Friccin LIFE, man! Just like Mother Nature does on occasion, earlier this week, Life provided one of its best reality checks. And it did so in one of its best ways. [You know, the way that makes you want to PUNCH it right in its stupid, annoying, mocking, life face?!?!?!] Last week, I was informed that my friend has a 10cm tumor surrounding his colon. This is my friend Steve. Steve is married to a most amazing, kind, generous person named Chris. Steve and Chris received the numbing news just hours after the U.S. Supreme Court declared that same sex marriage is officially legal in all states. So on this day, the day we celebrated them – their finally dignified marriage, their love, and the basic right to love – my friend was informed that his time to rejoice might actually be… quite…………… limited. No one deserves to be inflicted with diseases like cancer. But it strikes me as so horribly unfair when a person – a good person – is dealt more than his fair share of tough cards in such a short lifetime. And then, then you’ve got the reverse! What sense can be made when there are also people who make such incredibly screwed up decisions – and hurt so many others along the way? And then, some of these people seem to get so many second chances at making amends!! In these cases, I must ask, where is the justice? I don’t know if there’s some sort of master puppeteer or dictator who’s got this all pre-planned and this thing called “life” is being executed exactly according to said plan. But if I did, I would very much like to have a chat with him or her. I don’t know what happens after our bodies shrivel up and get old; or after we take in that last breath of air, after our hearts stop, after our bodily functions cease, and after our brains terminate. I don’t know. But I do know something. I know that there is an unstoppable and impenetrable drive in me to try to do good things. Some may call this morality. Regardless of the title, I also know that when I do good things, I feel amazing! But, please, don’t get me wrong. I am not perfect. I. Make Mistakes. Lost of ‘em! And I am not 100% altruistic with my life decisions. A far cry. But this little bit of knowledge I hold – despite all the unknowns – provides me with, at the very least, a sense of direction. And also………. a sense of………….. peace. Even when shit seems to hit the proverbial fan (like with Steve and Chris, or even with my own personal drama du jour), we do have a powerful tool in our toolbox. We can do anything in our power to love and support them. If you choose to show that love and support, for goodness sake, go forth! And if you’d like to help Steve in a financial sense, here’s the way. [p.s. What’s bizarrely weird (I learned) is when you help them, it’s actually YOU who will feel SO GOOD. Regardless of the actual outcome. And, sadly, the ultimate, ultimate outcome is not up to any of us. But most inspiringly, this is a reminder that even when shit SUCKS, we actually do have some control. We do! So the moral of this story? I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s goes a bit like this: Remember what’s important in life. For me, that means giving proper nutrition, rest, challenge and exercise to provide to my body with endurance and strength. Rejoice others’ successes, and provide support and logic behind the losses. Remember what this short time on earth really means (regardless of what happens, or what one believes will happen afterwards). Spend more time loving and less time judging. Find forgiveness, even when it seems impossible. Possess a desire to do ALL of this with ultimate kindness, care, intellect, curiosity, love, generosity and humor. Every day is a challenge to keeping in line with these personal “tenants”. Yes, every day. But I know (guys…. I. KNOW.) it is right. At least for me. Special love goes out, tonight, to my mom. Special SPECIAL thanks goes out to the ability to have such independent thoughts. Happy fourth! ~V
1 Comment
Suzy
7/6/2015 02:06:56 pm
Well said, honey! Thank you for the special love coming my way! It's true you know...the only thing left to do, after all the crap life shoves our way, is just to keep on loving and caring. That's probably the lesson, to see who's up to it. And you certainly are. Thanks for sharing that! <3
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AuthorVanessa Ann, a writer and environmentalist. She possesses a Master of Applied Science in Environmental Policy & Management from the University of Denver. Her writing, at times, can be... a little sarcastic with just a dash of snarky. Archives
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Vanessa is also a long-time contributing author (and former President) for the Sustainability Alliance of the University of Denver. Check out her published newsletters here: Some Say the Debate is Over. Yet the Heat Won’t Seem to Go Away, November 2016 Corn. It’s In Everything & It’s No Bueno for the Environment, February 2016 The Pursuit of Sustainability, August 2015 |